I loved it. Take note on the tense. Loved. Meaning past. I still do but I will eventually learn to unlove it. Love is a choice, ayt? See my post for valentines dayLove is a choice: to quote i said there: it is a choice to keep a relationship; it is a choice to make it work; it is a choice to love
then in another entry i quoted joe d mango:
The reason why we refuse to let go of a person we love is because weouch
are afraid to be alone. But if that person doesn’t love us, then being with
him or her doesn’t make any difference. We would have someone beside us, but
still be alone. The real essence of a relationship lies in the commitment of
two people, and not just one. It lies in the basic foundation of love that is
shared by two and not just felt by one. You simply
cannot be happy with a man who loves someone else. Do not allow yourself to be
a prisoner of your own desires. Let us always remember that it is in giving
and not in taking that we experience the real meaning of love. It is in loving
and not in wanting to be loved in return that we find real happiness.
by joe d mango
the entry is fully recycled. but i dont care. if i could do it last year i will definitely make it through again this time.
but for the benefit of tracking down the events in years to come. i will write an entry of how much pain he caused me and the reason i have to let him go. i won't publish it nga lang. for the reason that i am not successful on my choice to unlove him just yet. But I will definitely.
friends say i should be angry. that it is the only way to let go finally. but my heart can't make my mind do that.
Rather i should keep in mind what Erica told me "God saved you". Oh yes dear. Thanks much. She told me i'll just suffer more if i'd try to hold on. Love will find a way back to me, right Jecai?
Lastly, here's Udette's text:
When God takes something away from our grasp he's not punishing you but merely emptying your hands for you to receive something better.
Dear God, please make this pain go away pretty fast. But if You really want me to undergo such overhaul (again) maybe I better be ready. Just send me angels to rescue me when I'm about to give up. Thank you.