Concern 1: Thea doesnt talk much we believe it is because she seldom see children her age. I mean weekly Sunday Schools is seldom right? A playmate would surely be nice.
Concern 2: I think I want to stop using Depo Injection because of its health and "weight" risk. My waistline is still in its 30+ stage, sure I can wear my fab 29" jeans (fab because my butt and legs looks nice when I wear it) but man the measuring tape still says otherwise (my heart breaks), I think Levis uses a different measure.
Why oh why is it soooo hard to lose those extra pounds in your belly. Super FAIL.
Concern 3: I will turn 31 this August. On my 50th birthday THea will be 22, if I will give birth next year her sibling will be 19. In short I am not so young anymore to buy time.
Concern 4; Geographical. We are not in the most comfortable place to be preggy and give birth. But we do wish to be extended here "forever" hahaha. Maybe I can be preggy here then go home to Manila at the 7th month to give birth. Hospitals here (since it is an 'almost' Muslim country ) doesnt allow husbands to go and see their wives during operation worse he cant even be with you at night at your room (so they say)? WHY? Because he is a male specie, I think the building is a women's only building Huwaaat?
Concern 5: I am a SAHM as in I do the cooking etc and take care of my cutie little girl. I would probably need a permanent helper when I get preggy. Slash big time on budget for the salary and the lodging. Landlord wants us to pay extra 200+ for the maid's room downstairs. Add that to the salary which is 300-400, then ofcourse the food budget will shoot up too :-( SIGH
Concern 6: (Biggest concern)After Birth situation. Where will I lodge after giving birth? I had serious post partum (yeah I didnt tell you that before huh) when I gave birth to Thea. I was okay until hubby left for Brunei and I was left in my in-laws house. Before he left he asked me what I want and where I want to be but I want to please him because I knew he would love Thea to be with her lola so I stayed at their house. HUGE MISTAKE. I was crying all day, they dont see me because I was usually alone in the house with the TV on. No one to talk to. No internet either. (I have to say that they do ask if I'm okay, I always say I am. Well physically I am all healed but emotionally it was still a roller coaster ride) Hubby calls but it is really different when he's around.
Now I know that if you just gave birth your major concern is yourself. Dont underestimate post partum. Back to my story I prayed as in prayed hard then I texted my sister and my mom. I was super feeling low because the only time i see people are during mealtime then at around 8pm when MIL's store is closed. They do give me the food I need, bottles are already cleaned, clothes already washed but dear I wasnt still feeling well all because I dont have my usual girlfriend or sister talks. GF's can only visit on weekends. My sister cant go there daily since children have school. A week after hubby left I asked to be moved to my sister's house.
SCARY or should I say traumatic? I dont know but I would really want to recuperate with my husband next time I give birth because he's the only one who knows how to pamper, errr spoil?, me.
So what say you? Baby #2: Yes or Not yet?
extra: I was,(still am), moved by this statement made by a fellow N@wie:
It's so hard for moms to take care of themselves...we tend to always put our needs and issues last. But when we do, we also end up compromising those that we are trying to protect and care for. by mec ni jojo
Lastly, I do really wanna have another baby though I still dont know when. With all these concerns my heart is really breaking. Should I or shouldnt I. It would be alright if I will just take care of one little girl muna. She's a lovely girl and mommy is always happy to just be with her.
I think I'm lost or maybe I am just scared.